by Raul Gordillo
A premise for a healthy and balanced life begins with self-awareness. Self-awareness and self-acceptance ignite a sudden willingness to obtain the knowledge to act on desires and change unwanted habits, to create a balanced life where you live in the present with joy.
The Reactionary Mind
Before any of us develop self-awareness, we are controlled by our thoughts based on experiences from the past, and we tend to be concerned about the future, missing the present. Whether we think we are successful or not, happy or unhappy, our mind always reacts to what is happening in the moment as we were in the past. Through this process, we are always planning the future, which in essence will be a repetition of the past. We tend to miss the now, where all is happening. The reactionary mind with its registered experiences controls us; we do not manage our thoughts. Our thoughts manage us.
Lack of self-awareness denotes feelings that we have no control of our lives and all we need is found outside ourselves. We lack self-acceptance and the knowledge to manage our thoughts; therefore, we do not manage our feelings, behaviors and emotions. The ego, based on external cues, takes over our thoughts and dictates our lives. We are always reacting to the present as we were in the past. The reactionary mind becomes the main tool of the ego.
Ups and Downs
Since we have no awareness, we are at the mercy of ego. Ego is reactive and promotes imbalance. Ego represents all the influences from our environment learned in the past. Even though negative behaviors are quite common around us and from ourselves, through the ego we learn to deny them and cover them up with positive behaviors. By not accepting the negative, it grows and every so often blows up in our face. We feel down; we do something positive to alleviate it. This way we create the ups and downs where there is no equilibrium.
Negative and Positive Emotions
Without awareness, negative emotions, such as fear, are not resolved; they are simply covered with positive ones without acceptance and resolution, perpetuating an unbalanced life between traumatic and euphoric extremes. In many instances, mental and physical diseases are the consequences of such unhealthy extremes.
Creating a Balanced, Healthy and Joyful Life
Once awareness is discovered, acceptance begins to take place. The fact that we are able to manage our thoughts gains credibility and dissolution of the ego begins. Gradually, managing our thoughts, we perceive what it is, and our feelings, emotions and behaviors take a turn to the present, becoming healthy and balanced – not reactionary. The negative is resolved, not covered or denied, balanced with the positive. We become centered as we live in the now.
These few words are merely seeds to seek out more information on starting or continuing your inner work. It takes much reading, thinking, doing and feeling to wake up naturally to the process of self-awareness and transformation to live in the now.
Raul Gordillo, PsyD, CAP, CMHP, has a Doctorate in Psychology and practices Transformational Awareness. Visit TransformationalAwareness.IntuitWebsites.com. See ad page 57.