by Karen Kaye, LMHC
Q: Dear Karen Kaye,
I aspire for peace, but the more I pursue it, the more it seems to become difficult to achieve. What can I do to help myself?
Thank you, Esther
A: Dear Esther,
Peace is not a “doing” state, but rather a state of “being”. Peace is the natural state that our minds, bodies and spirits know but we get in our own way. In the “doing” state, we are accustomed to believing that the more we aspire, do and/or achieve will ultimately bring us peace. However, the opposite may be more accurate — that the less we aspire, do and/or achieve may bring peace. Yet that is also not necessarily true.
Peace is an inner journey that is designed by each person individually. Peace is something you take with you wherever you go. It is very personal and can only be disrupted by other people, places and events, if we allow it. Peace is something we all aspire to… but may only capture it for brief moments.
Usually, people know what doesn’t bring them peace rather than what does, and this knowledge is a good start to the process of peace. For some, arguing, scheduling, and working may not be very peaceful while others may have peace in those moments.
Peace begins within. It is the ability to live with your good thoughts as well as your disturbing thoughts. It is living with the decisions that worked and those that did not. It is being okay with not being perfect and not apologizing or pretending. Peace is not about having to get your own way in order to be okay. Peace comes when you have made friends with your past, and have corrected your thoughts, beliefs and actions in the present.
Karen Kaye, LMHC
Karen Kaye has been in private practice for 27 years. If you would like to speak with her directly about this or any other topic, call 954-384-1217. See ad page 55.